Bimbofication 😱 ✡️🌻😱 💣🚀 🐣🫓

Bimbo BINGO: Congratulations if you had Kristi Noem’s cuckolded husband Byron being a cross-dressing bimbofication fetishist on your BINGO card, extra points if you even know what bimbofication is, because if you did and do, you’ve won this episode of WTF is going on in Trump-land.  You also have a far more bizarre and inventive imagination than most and possibly also spend lots of time on NSFW/Fetish subreddits. Joking aside, the real issues aren’t Byron’s hard to unsee balloon boobs and tight pink undies but that his fetish and the accompanying pictures he posted sans mask for all to see provide evidence of how Trump and his crackerjack team failed to undertake serious background checks on his cabinet and top aides, the people whose access to super top secret information, including the president’s daily brief (PDB) could make them targets of foreign espionage agencies because while Trump probably didn’t know about Byron Noem’s predilection, Vlad Putin, Xi, and a number of our sneakier allies and erstwhile friends, probably did. Worth noting, while ICE Barbie Kristi’s alleged boyfriend Corey Lewandowski is probably not into bimbofication, he’s another one who wasn’t vetted but who did have access to the PDB.  

War, War, TACO? On a more serious note than bimbofication, we’re still at war with Iran, at least we will be until tonight when, unless he changes his mind, at 9 PM EDT during a speech to be carried by all the major networks while some of us are otherwise occupied at Passover Seders, TACO man Trump is expected to announce that: he’s won; the war is over or will be in a rolling two weeks; that Iran no longer has any uranium, or if they do and they probably do, who other than Bibi cares; and that it doesn’t matter that the Strait of Hormuz which was open before the war, isn’t open now because that’s the problem of the countries that used to be our allies so they should just deal with it. However, since Trump has been known to TACO his TACOs, there’s also a non-zero chance that he could instead announce that he’s sending in the troops until the equity markets tank again and oil prices shoot upward once more at which time he will TACO, TACO, TACO.     

The Courts:  A number of legal rulings didn’t go Trump’s way yesterday.  Judge Radnolph Moss of the US District Court for DC found that his executive order defunding NPR and PBS violated the First Amendment and is therefore "unlawful and unenforceable." Judge Richard Leon, also of the DC court, ruled that construction be halted on his pet project, the humongous, East Wing replacement ballroom with the stairway to nowhere, until the project receives a go-ahead from Congress. As indicated by his reaction, including a few longer than usual Truth Social posts, the East Wing decision in particular is freaking Trump out in a bigly, multiple ketchup bottle way. The White House plans to appeal both decisions but Trump isn’t happy so to further show his dismay with the courts, he plans to take the unprecedented step of attending today’s Supreme Court arguments on birth right citizenship, another one of those issues that has his tidy whities, not to be confused with Byron Noem’s pink undies, tied into knots.

Voting Rights?  Courts or no courts, Trump hasn’t given up on issuing questionable executive orders. Since, despite his aggressive efforts and accompanying threats, he hasn’t been able to get Senate Leader John Thune to dispense with the 60-vote filibuster rule to get his voter squelching SAVE Act passed, last night he signed the mother of all  executive orders, to eliminate the “legendary cheating” that he insists with zero evidence goes along with mail-in voting. This order would create state lists of US citizens who are eligible to vote, with an instruction to the US Postal Service to send mail ballots only to “verified” voters. He also says that he will cut aid to states that don’t cooperate.  Naturally, the verified voter list will be dominated by those most likely to vote the way Trump wants them to, presumably a mix of white Republican males, with a smattering of trad wives and other similar thinkers.  According to the Constitution, the document that Trump only cares about when it benefits him, elections are run by states not the federal government so Trump’s order will be immediately litigated and probably will be almost immediately put on hold but since we’ve heard that refrain before we should all be very concerned.  As to mail-in ballots, it’s worth noting that lots of people, including Trump, Melania and Barron, and people in red leaning states vote by mail. Eight states, including California, Colorado, Hawaii, Nevada, Oregon, Utah, Vermont,  Washington and Washington, DC allow all elections to be conducted entirely by mail.  Two states, Nebraska and North Dakota, permit counties to opt into conducting elections by mail. Nine states, including Alaska, Arizona, Florida, Kansas, Maryland, Missouri, Montana, New Mexico, and Wyoming allow specific small elections to be conducted by mail. Four states including Idaho, Minnesota, New Jersey, and New Mexico permit mostly mail elections for certain small jurisdictions. Also, lots of other states, including New York make it very easy to obtain mail-in ballots. Trump’s executive order is nothing more than an attempt to disrupt the midterms and all the other future elections he can subjugate. Spooked by the results of recent elections, his declining polls, and the millions of marchers taking to the streets, he’s concluded that the only way he can hold on to power is by taking it away from voters who don’t like him and sadly he’s surrounded by people who don’t just support him but who are also egging him on.

Stupid 💩:  Some military helicopter pilots did a couple of flybys past Kid Rock’s house presumably to reward him for his Trump loyalty but also maybe because they like what he passes off as music.  Their bosses suspended them upon further investigation because unscheduled flybys aren’t supposed to be a thing but then, as expected War/Beer Pete suspended the suspension. Don’t be surprised if the pilots in question soon get medals of valor from the orange one.